Baking bread is partly the reason why I love to cook. After having Eva, due to having a bad birth, pretending that I could cope and being completely unprepared for parenthood, I developed severe postnatal depression, OCD and anxiety. I suffered in silence for nearly a year. I gave up my job, refused to go outside and I felt like a terrible mother. I finally plucked up the courage to talk to the doctor, just telling one person felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my world became a little less darker. I told Stephen by text message because I was too ashamed to tell him to his face but with his and other family members support, I began to feel like my normal self again. However, I still felt a bit empty and still not 100%.